Denver Broncos outside linebacker Von Miller is hailed for his athleticism and team spirit. Unfortunately, this star player has one very embarrassing problem: flatulence. His trouble with farting in public has become so bad that the linebacker has been fined by his teammates for cutting the cheese in public places. Von Miller’s teammates were so disgusted with their teammate’s gas problem that they decided to charge him $500 every time they heard him pass gas. This season, Von Miller has paid $15,000 in fart fines. That’s a total of 30 public episodes of flatulence.
The Current Farting Tax For Von Miller
ESPN business analyst Darren Rovell first officially revealed Von Miller’s farting fine on his Twitter account. Rovell tweeted on Christmas day:
Von Miller’s teammates created a fart tax of $500. They caught him farting 30 times in a season which he says cost him $15K (H/T @mortyain)
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) December 26, 2016
Since the time Rovell released this tweet at the end of last year, some people are wondering if the final price tag for this fine has gone up in recent weeks. People who know Von Miller might have already known this football player has serious problems with flatulence if they saw his interview with Nicki Jhabvala. For those who don’t know, Jhabvala is an NFL/Broncos beat writer for The Denver Post. On June 3rd of 2015, Jhabvala tweeted:
Von Miller said the Broncos have a fine system for, um, flatulence in meetings. Said he thinks he’s been fined the most.
— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) June 3, 2015
With reference to his teammates, the linebacker told Jhabvala:
“They can’t fine me if I get up and walk away. It’s NOT healthy. I keep trying to tell them it’s not healthy if I just sit there and hold it in.”
According to medical science, Von Miller does make a good point. Doctors note that when we hold in our farts, the gas gets reabsorbed into our blood stream. This can cause abdominal pain, constipation, stomach bloating, and even bad breath. If you have a gas problem, doctors recommend eating food slowly, reducing stress, and exercising regularly. Despite the weight of scientific evidence in Von Miller’s favor, Miller’s teammates seem unwilling to forgive him for this embarrassing issue. Von Miller seemed distraught over his farting fines, but he has reportedly paid them all without complaint. Thankfully for Von Miller, he is making more than enough money to pay for his farting issues. Miller just recently signed a five-year contract, which will give him around $114 million.
Von Miller’s History Of Flatulence
This football star’s farting problem is becoming bigger with each passing year. Fans of the hit ABC show “Dancing With the Stars” will recall the linebacker was fined by his partner, Witney Carson McAllister, every time he farted in the dance studio. Even after being fined on this show, Von Miller kept letting them rip wherever and whenever he felt the urge. Von Miller took part in the most recent season of “Dancing With the Stars” and was eliminated from the dancing competition at the start of May.
What’s Next For the Football Superstar?
Despite all of this farting nonsense, things seem to be going well for Von Miller. He intends to stay with the Denver Broncos for as long as he can, and he plans on farting whenever he feels the urge to go. The football star told Jhabvala he knows of no one who actually holds their farts in, and he certainly isn’t about to start. He went on to admit that he
“just [does] it more than the average person.”
Wherever the linebacker goes in the future, you can be sure he won’t let social stigma get in the way of healthy digestion.
Image Source: Wikipedia